If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
