Small penises have feelings too.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
