I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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