So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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