I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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