i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
