a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
