Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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