Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
