it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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