found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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