her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
