He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
