well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
