If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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