How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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