Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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