Soap is not a condiment
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
