Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He passed out mid-signature
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The air was thick with penises
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i out mim tonsoeep
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