ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
