Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
