we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
