she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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