I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
