i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
