i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
