Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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