You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
