i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
