I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
