the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
