And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
