He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Welp...herpes.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
