I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
