How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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