So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
