just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We are all done wearing pants today
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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