yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
