Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
