Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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