why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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