Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
