It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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