dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
