Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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