i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
