she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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