If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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