i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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