If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
